The Darkness Outside!
by No1butjoe
Summary: Part one of four. A long lost son, a painful announcement, and the chance to make it all right. Please, R&R!


The Darkness Outside!

By No1butjoe

**A/N: This is part one of four stories. These were written some time ago, but I never posted them. So, please, enjoy, and R&R!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Bonanza or the characters.**

**Summary - A long lost son, a painful announcement, and the chance to make it all right.**

The rain pounded hard on the ground as he moved across the yard, anxiously wondering what he was going to tell his family. Thunder clashed overhead and lightning wasn't too far behind. The rain soaked through the cowboy's jacket as he slowly moved toward the house and to the front door. He had been away for so long, but would they accept him back?

Shivering due to the cold, he took a deep breath and entered, his eyes roaming all over the vast living room, that hadn't changed much since his departure four years ago. His father's favorite blue chair sat by the steps that led upstairs. The fireplace was lit brightly to warm the atmosphere in the room for anyone who might come in from the cold. One thing he wondered that struck his heart with fear - was his room still the same?

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he climbed the staircase to the second floor, where he slowly and cautiously walked down the hall, in case anyone was still in the house. The door to his bedroom was closed, but he slowly opened it and was welcomed with the same room he had had since he was a boy. His bed was freshly made, looking as if someone knew that, someday, he'd return.

His mother's picture hung on the wall with her smiling face looking at him as if to say, "Welcome home, Son."

She had died when her son was only a toddler and he still missed her on special occasions. Horses were suddenly heard outside and he hurried to the window in time to see his family ride up and dismount. He saw Ben, his father, look at the horse tied to the post, then, hurry inside and shout, "Joseph!?"

That voice he had longed to hear for so long caused tears in Joe Cartwright's eyes as feet pounded up the stairs and the door flung open. He turned to face the one man he loved more than anyone in the world, who also had tears in his eyes. Father and son found themselves in a tight embrace, afraid to let each other go. Hoss was smiling with tears in his eyes as he gathered his brother in a bear hug. Then, came the most difficult thing Joe had ever done in his life. He had to face the reason he had left in the first place. His oldest brother, Adam.

Always the educated one and not the kind of man to show his emotions, the cowboy was leaning against the wall, just staring at his father's prodigal son. Joe didn't know if his brother had forgiven him for the harsh words they had spoken over something as dumb as gathering strays. There was only one way to find out. Taking a hesitant step forward, Joe looked into Adam's eyes, which masked what and how he really felt on the inside.

"Adam?" he barely managed to get out. "I-I'm sorry. Can you forgive me, brother?"

It was so quiet after that question, that they could've heard a pin drop. Joe didn't know what to make of the silence he was receiving from his brother, but at least they weren't arguing. Suddenly, Joe saw something he thought he'd never see Adam do. Cry. His brother was actually crying! Tears formed in his own eyes and he rushed to embrace his brother, who, normally, would pull away, but now welcomed the gesture of love with open arms. Ben and Hoss watched the happy reunion with tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces. As Joe and Adam pulled away, Adam asked the one question that had been on the entire family's mind.

"Why'd you come back, Joe?"

His youngest brother was surprised at this question, but understood what didn't need to be said.

"Because you're my family," he replied, smiling as Ben placed an arm around his shoulders.

His father paled somewhat and slowly removed his arm.

"Joe, there's something you're not telling us," he accused, frowning.

His son sighed and nodded.

"You should sit down, Pa," he advised. After his family was all seated, he began, "After I left, I began searching for a job. I had some money, but not enough for room, food, and a ticket to San Francisco. Plus, the expenses I'd need for when I arrived. Well, after working at the Livery Stable for Charlie for a few weeks, I had enough for everything. I went to California and got a job on a ship, but soon had to quit due to me and another fella getting into a fight. I was hired as a bodyguard for a man named Clemmings. John Clemmings. He was rich enough to hire a bodyguard and pay me good money for my hard labors. One day, he wanted to go into a saloon. I tried to talk him out of it, Pa, but you know how stubborn some men can be."

Adam and Hoss exchanged grins, knowing very well their younger brother was referring to himself. Ben tried to ignore their looks, but a small smile spread across his face as Joe continued.

"When we entered the saloon, a girl immediately came over to John and they were having a good time, but that's when things got out of hand."

Joe's voice had turned to a soft whisper and his family was having a hard time hearing him.

"John and another man got into an argument over a card game so I rushed in and broke up the fight, but they eventually turned to bullets. A-."

Ben's face filled with concern.

"Were you hurt?" he asked, worriedly.

"I'm getting to it, Pa," his son replied. "A bullet hit John in the arm and he ordered me to keep firing. That's exactly what I did, until the other guy got lucky and hit me in the stomach. The doctor told me that I-I."

He couldn't go on. Ben rose from his seat and stood in front of Joe, looking deep into his eyes.

"Joe?" he whispered, softly. "What are you trying to say, boy?"

"Pa, I'm-I'm dying. The doctor couldn't remove the bullet, so he told me that I only have a short time to live. That's why I came home. To see you three one last time, before-."

"Please, tell me you're lying, Joseph," Ben pleaded, his eyes wide in shock.

"You don't know how much I wish I could, Pa," his youngest son replied, embracing him. "Every minute of everyday I wish I could reverse time and stop it from happening, but I wake up and it's still there. I'm-I'm glad I came home, Pa - to be with you and Hoss and Adam. It makes it easier for me to admit the truth. You know I love you, don't you, Pa?"

Ben pulled away and forced himself to look into Joe's eyes, which were just as teary as his own.

"I've always known, son, but I'm glad I heard it from you," he replied, managing a weak smile as he cupped his face in his hands and hugged him once more.

Adam and Hoss, too shocked to speak, stood silently by the door, watching their younger brother and father. He was dying? This healthy young man who left them four years ago was dying? Hoss turned towards the hall, afraid to look Joe in the eye if he should look in his direction. Adam still was swirling Joe's words around in his head, wondering if he was dreaming and when he would wake up. Ben was now talking about having a surgeon take a look at Joe, just in case there was a chance, just one, small chance.

BONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZA

Ben Cartwright greeted Surgeon Alfred Wilcox at the stage when he arrived. After sending a pleading letter, Wilcox had immediately agreed to look Joe over. Too weak to walk anymore due to pain, Joe was confined to bed, where he would often read a book or two that Adam let him borrow or just lay back and rest. Three restless men waited downstairs while the surgeon examined the youngest member of their family. All of them rose when he descended the stairs.

"Ben, I can do it," he announced, causing all of them to breathe a sigh of relief. "There is a catch, though. Joe might die on the operating table if I do perform the surgery. His condition is weakening day by day and if we don't do something soon, we'll lose him. Do I have your consent to operate?"

"It's better than sitting here and doing absolutely nothing," his friend replied, nodding. "I give my consent."

BONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZA

Three long hours later, Wilcox came out of the room, breathing hard and perspiring profusely. His gloves were covered in blood, Joe's no doubt. His face lit up when he saw them and he offered them a reassuring smile.

"He's pulling through," he announced. "Still a little shaky, but he'll pull through."

Ben gulped.

"He-he's not going to die?" he asked, hopefully.

Wilcox smiled and shook his head. Joe would live. He'd be all right. And what pleased them more was - he was home.

"Can I see him?" Ben asked, pleadingly.

His friend nodded. Ben quietly walked into his son's room. Joe was lying motionless on the bed, but he knew it was because the cowboy was so tired. Who could blame him? After all he'd been through, he deserved to rest. Brushing the curls from the young man's face, Ben smiled and whispered, "Welcome home, son."

BONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZA

Days later, Joe still hadn't woken up. Ben was worried that something had gone wrong with the operation, but Wilcox assured him that Joe was only trying to gather up his strength in order to keep fighting. Late one night, Adam was asleep in his youngest brother's room, after refusing to leave the cowboy's side. A hand landing on his head startled him, but, thinking it was his father, he thought nothing of it, until he heard a sob. Opening his eyes, he found Joe's face stained with tears, but a smile lit up his face. Immediately, Adam called his father, brother, and the surgeon.

"How do you feel, Joe?" Adam asked as he heard the others rousing themselves out of bed and rushing down the hall.

"I'm-I'm alive," Joe whispered, his throat raspy. "Did-Did it work, Adam?"

Tears streaked Adam's face as Ben, Hoss, and Wilcox entered.

"It sure did, little brother," he replied. "It sure did."

**A/N: Well, there's the first story of four. I'll upload the other three once I see how the reviews are for this one. Please, R&R!**


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